全国100所名校最新高考冲刺卷英语2023届Y1

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DSearch "toxic parents",and you'll find more than 38,000 posts,largely urgingyoung adults to cut ties with their families.The idea is to safeguard one's mentalhealth from abusive parents.However,as a psychoanalyst,I've seen that trend inrecent years become a way to manage conflicts in the family,and I have seen thesevere impacts estrangement()has on both sides of the divide.This is a self-helptrend that creates much harm.Research by Karl Pillemer,a professor at Cornell University,indicates that 1 in4 American adults have become estranged from their families.I believe that's anundercount,because others have stopped short of completely cutting off contact buthave effectively broken the ties."Canceling"your parent can be seen as an extension of a cultural trend aimed atcorrecting imbalances in power and systemic inequality.Certainly the family is onesystem in which power has never been balanced.In 1933,the psychoanalyst SandorFerenczi warned that even the simple indication that someone has more power than wedo could potentially be damaging.Today's social justice values respond to this reality,calling on us to criticizeoppressive and harmful figures and to gain power for those who have been powerless.But when adult children use the most effective tool they have-themselves-to gain asense of security and ban their parents from their lives,the roles are simplyswitched,and the pain only deepens.Often,what I see in my practice are cases of family conflict mismanaged,powerdynamics turned upside down rather than negotiated.I see the terrible effect of thattrend:situations with no winners,only isolated (humans who long to beknown and feel safe in the presence of the other.The catch is that after estrangement,adult children are not suddenly lessdependent.In fact,they feel abandoned and betrayed,because in the unconscious,itdoesn't matter who is doing the leaving;the feeling that remains is "being left".They carry the ghosts of their childhood,tackling the emotional reality that thosewho raised us can never truly be left behind,no matter how hard we try.高三英语第7页（共11页）